Boring? Or not?

How do you like Shah Rukh Khan's face on TV almost every hour? Boring, no? Do you like the same coffee everywhere in the world? I don't know about you but for us filter kaapi lovers, that would mean something like the end of the world! Do you always choose the same color for clothes? (I am accused of being "monochromatic" since I always choose blue for my clothes) Do you utter the same words everyday? Can you even try to speak the same words everyday? No? 

Don't worry, that proves you are normal. I was not going to pronounce that you are suffering from some variety seeking syndrome. The wise people in the world do not seem to agree with us.

When I was a kid, we used to visit a family doctor. He knew everything, from delivering a child to mumbling soothing words near someone's deathbed. Later, a word called specialization was coined and it kicked out the family doctor. He was getting too monotonous it seems. He knew every patient's medical history and remembered every quirk in their system. He knew too much, so the wise people in the world decided to kill him. We now have specialists - different specialists take care of different parts of the body and finally the therapist talks to you for a fee when you go mad due to the number of bills you receive from the various specialists.

Isn't that variety? The knee specialist looks at so many knees during his career that he can no longer recognize people without looking at their knees. That is absolutely not monotonous.

We seem to have another confusion. We don't seem to understand the difference between growth and expansion. Expansion seems to be the only way to grow. If a company is earning Rs.1000, it must earn Rs.2000. Fine. After that? Rs.20,000 and so on. Then, we move to different countries and earn more. The ultimate aim is to suck up all the money on earth and then deploy pumps to suck more from other planets. 

(Perhaps that is why people are expanding horizontally too these days. The human waistline is following the growth patterns of our businesses. Then we decide to go "lean" and cut costs. We stop eating food and drink 5 coffees per day or use our corporate health club memberships to check office mail while sipping juice in the spa instead of working out in the gym.)

So what do you think? Is one solution for everything, like a family doctor, monotonous? Is cultivating different crops on the same field monotony or is growing only one crop year after year boring and limited? Walmart everywhere... OK, leave all those lofty questions. 

Tell me, is Shah Rukh Khan in IPL, Ra One, Fair and Handsome cream advertisement, Pepsi advertisement, Phir mile sur.. *out of breath* monotonous and boring or not? *stretches both hands outwards like SRK*

Rumor has it

Did you hear...?

Rumors are fun. Really. Even when they are about you, sometimes they are fun. Apparently, in this part of the world, there is a rumor (or a rumor that there is a rumor) about me that I have a boyfriend. Nice, no?

I can imagine my close friends pointing and laughing at the very idea. If there is one thing that is an established fact among my friends, it is my absolute ignorance about "dating", "relationship" and things of the mushy kind. My best friend's favorite jibe at me is about how I wouldn't even realize it if a guy were trying to ask me out. So, there could be a measure of truth in the rumor - I might have a boyfriend about whom I myself am not yet aware of. I give it to the rumor-mongers.

And there are other generic rumors. My favorite one at school was, "no class today". I personally tried to start a rumor once - that the teacher slipped on the stairs and fell down, so no class. I had always imagined that scene with the teachers I did not like. My attempt fizzled out. Not even one soul in the class considered buying the lie. 

That was one of the earliest failures in my life. But I did not lose hope. I decided to perform a Root Cause Analysis for the fiasco (budding software engineer). I arrived at these causes:

1. Lack of lying skills - I had to admit, the teacher slipping in a staircase that consisted of 3 tiny steps and being rendered unable to come to class was a bit of a stretch on one's imagination.
2. Unconvincing body language while lying - This problem is caused by problem 1 because body language  efficiency is directly proportional to the "believability" of the lie.
3. Lack of support - Even my close friends did not support me in the effort. They did not have to believe in the rumor, they just had to talk about it.
4. Lack of incentives - I should have garnered support and offered incentives such as guarantee of not including their names in the mischief makers list if I got caught, bondas in my house that evening or something like that.

So what do we infer from the paragraph above? Rumors are instructive. They indirectly encourage self introspection.

And then there are rumors on a slightly larger scale. There was a rumor in our area that a certain ghost was frequenting the railway crossing at night time. I always wondered why ghosts chose night time. Probably because they are typically dressed in white and have a pale white complexion. If you look at it from a "rational" perspective, they are spotted at night due to better visibility conditions at night, with a dark background. Anyways, this rumor was harmless and in fact, had a positive effect, because kids were scared to wander far from the house at night and not many people frequented the railway track for digestive waste disposal.

And....rumor has it that people who type too much will not get dinner tonight. So, I am cutting this post short. 

P.S: It is rumored that those who read this post and do not leave nice comments on FB or Twitter will be tormented with more such posts. Just FYI.

I don't swear

It is now very fashionable to inject swear words into one's vocabulary. And it irritates me. It also seems to be something people think they can flaunt. Not shamefully, but proudly. And then there are those who support such people. I don't know who makes me more indignant.

Decency has lost the appreciation it deserves. Vulgarity and cheapness have pushed it out of the social limelight and are basking in their new-found social acceptance. I partly blame social media for this. People are now proud to display their mediocrity. They beam ear to ear when they talk about how perverted they are. Showing lack of respect to others has now become the "in thing".

Being frank and outspoken is very different from being brazen and rude. And again, it is peer pressure that makes people accept most of the nonsense that is promoted these days. And when people like me do not join the bandwagon, we are criticized. No, we are bullied.

Well, I am not someone who will "go with the flow". I am this way and I dare anyone to try and change me. If you feel it is your freedom of expression to belittle everyone around you, it is my free will to not listen to you.

If you think I am old fashioned, who cares? I do not think much about you, so your opinions don't matter either. One thing is for sure - however low these people stoop down, I will not reach down and call them names. I have a blog to rant about it. Without swearing.

Patima

My grandmother has always been a busy lady. A typical R.K.Narayan novel type grandmother. A formidable, tough person who has never known a day that has defeated her. The world's best cook, a busy bee and a lady to whom no one has dared to speak back, yet.


I am not sure why I write this post now, but I just had to. The image that comes to my mind as soon as I think of my patima (as I call her) is, my patima with her wet hair tied in a Kothavaranga pinnal and knotted below, muttering sacred chants, with "Sambrani" smoke coming out of the sambrani holder in her hand, going about the house to spread the purifying smoke all over the huge house. There is nothing like that image to make me feel at home.


She would wake up at 4:30 AM every single day, take bath (hair bath every day) and wear her "madi" clothes. She would then enter the Pooja room and sing slokas for the next hour. Sacred chants in Sanskrit and Malayalam. I have never heard her sing any other time, all my life, except for during the early morning.


We never had to wait for coffee because, by the time we woke up at 6:30 AM, patima would have boiled milk and prepared fresh decoction for filter coffee. We did not have the custom of having tiffin for breakfast. It was brunch, as that was my late grandfather's preference. Patima has never changed any habit in the house, that had been originated by my thatha. So brunch it is, to this day. She would finish cooking at 8 AM, sharp.


We lesser mortals had brunch n left to our vocations - school or office. Patima would then spend the next hour - hour and a half in the big garden. One half of the garden had flower bearing plants - Changu pushpam, bougainvillea, etc. The other half was a kitchen garden: Plantain trees, coconut trees, Sapotta trees, "Keerai", and I don't remember the rest of it. She spent a good deal of time there, watering the plants and walking around the garden.


Brunch was 10:30 - 11 AM for her. And then, a short nap from noon to 1:45 PM. 2 PM has always been coffee time at home. Tiffin was at 4 PM. Upma, Dosai, Idly, etc. After that, she would sit in the front yard of the sprawling house and start removing the leafy portions from coconut tree leaves and keep the stalk for making homemade broomsticks. She used to keep trays of pulses and cereals in the sun for drying. Once in a month, she would replenish the permanent stock of thattai, murukku, cheedai, adhirasam and omapodi. 


I have not had Omapodi that is even half as good as my patima's till date. I don't think I ever will.


Evening was flower-stringing time. She would "thoduthufy" jasmine flowers for me and my amma to decorate our braids and for the pictures of all the deities in the pooja room. I used to sit by her and she would regale the same family history type story for the 1000th time. I can recite it even when woken up from a dream.


One favorite hobby of mine was blackmailing her that I would touch her before her "madi" period got over after the evening pooja. I spoke about it here. It was fun and I did it often ;)


6 PM was worship time again. She would light the lamp only after which we were allowed to switch on lights in the house for the evening. After pooja, it was dinner time at 7 PM. Then she would chat with our tenants or watch TV for some time. She called it a day at 9 PM. 


Now, she lies in the same bed, day after day, hour after hour, watching the same 4 walls every single minute. I feel bad for her, because, I have always known her as a very active person, who had a solution for everything; One whom no one could restrict or argue with. But I guess, no one can argue with old age.

(A)broadly Speaking – Jet lagged

I had arrived. The 24 hour flight journey did not seem tiring until I had food and hit the bed. I had not purchased a bed yet, and had to share a pillow with my roommate but I was asleep in a jiffy. Suddenly, there was an earthquake. The whole world was shaking and I was moving back n forth...no, wait. Somebody was trying to wake me up. "Whaa?" I tried to open my sleepy eyes. My eyelids were protesting. "Come, let’s go shopping. You need to buy stuff. We won't get a ride tomorrow."


I resisted the urge to ask "Who are you?" and reminded myself that this girl lived in my new home. I was stuffed into a car already occupied by the driver, a neighbor, the girl who woke me up and my other new roommate fresh from India, tottering sleepily by my side. We drove along in silence as the other two "experienced" Indian students in America argued whether HEB was better than WalMart. HEB has fresh vegetables and WalMart is best for all other stuff, it seems.


We went into the store. They looked at us expectantly, as if our jaws would drop on entering the mammoth shop. But hey - It was just Big Bazaar, without the many floors. Not surprised. We went about picking comforters (never heard of that before), pillows, etc. As luck would have it, I had forgotten to bring a soap case and the store only had designer soap cases starting at $13. I seriously considered giving up taking bath, altogether. The next day I enquired around and realized that we had left home at 12 AM and returned at 3 AM. The experienced people were still operating in IST, obviously.


The next day, my "old" roommate left in the general direction of the university. I had no idea where that was; I had lost all sense of direction. I then ventured out, to take photographs to send to all the expectant folks back home. For one thing, I noticed there was a lot of vacant space. The one statement all newbies like me kept making was, "What a lot of space! If we had this much space in India, we would have built so many apartments to house hundreds of people!"


I had reached the US in the peak of Texan summer. It was unbearable. I am from Chennai and yes, it was unbearable to me. First of all, there were no share autos on the road. No autos. No government buses blocking every inch of the road. One had to walk, if one was a broke student new to the country without friends who had a car. I was looking for part time student worker positions in the university and let me tell you this; GRE/TOEFL is cakewalk for most of us. The real test lies in the numerous walks looking for a part time job and saying "How are you today?, "Have a nice day" even when you are dead tired and the guy just wasted half an hour of your time to finally say that he had no open positions.


One acquires patience and one learns to smile in this country. Whether you mean it or not - depends on you. 


We had an international student welcome party in the university and we got a lot of free stuff. One more thing you learn - it is ok to get free stuff. Everyone does. It was fun, going around different stalls in the party hall pretending to be interested in what the people in the stall were saying. But everyone in the stall knew we were interested in the freebies and we knew they knew. We smiled and moved on. 


It was funny in a way, going to giveaways, talking to people as if I was an authority on Indian tradition and culture. I could hear my grandmother's satirical laughter in my head. We took home couches and coffee tables. It was fun, decorating the new house and inviting others to show off our interior decoration skills.


The first day of classes was a big event. Everyone mock-ranted about going back to school on Facebook and got a satisfactory number of likes. But the point was, we realized a lot of things later. One had to do homework and read for classes. No marks for attendance, but you will attend anyway, if you intend to keep your scholarship. And you really have to work, if you want to keep your part time job. That was the time most "Westernized in India" types starting realizing the stirrings of patriotic feelings that had been dumped deep inside their hearts.


I still hate Starbucks coffee. I make filter coffee at home but I like the people who smile at me in the coffee shop. I dress up in salwar-kurta for Indian events but still go shopping to Macy's or Forever 21 and exclaim "Woowwww!!!” looking at the collection. I visit Indian temples for the Indian food but I also visit Chipotle and PittaPitt. I still have a bit of jet lag, apparently.  


I like it here. But I can't say I love it here. I still love my life back in India. I have arrived, but perhaps, not to stay forever.

#MadeMyTrip - A Hashtagable Memory

So, everybody had been off to trips during the holidays. I decided to take one too. Visited Sukanya - one of the sweetest girls on the planet. Has traces of lunacy but that is a family trait. Excusable. Similar lunatic strains have been detected to be present in strong proportions in her Big Bro(as she calls him), Bala. #CloselyKnitLooseFamily


We visited NASA. Strangely, everytime I read or hear "NASA", I am reminded of this famous scene from Annamalai. #VideoBreak


 Anyways, now that you are back from the youtube link to this post, let us continue. The place is interesting. There were a few puzzles in the booths there that left me slightly embarrassed in front of 8 year olds but you shall never get to know about that. There was a game in which one had to step on the alphabets to frame the word, which is the answer to a question displayed on a big screen. I am sure you were not able to visualize what I just said. Let us just say, it required the person playing the game to have considerable leg-brain coordination. Which I do not. I tend to twist an ankle every 2 days. And trip and nearly fall almost every day. So, again, kids from around the globe, with their parents, got to smirk and comment about me in their mother tongues. #Shakingoffdustfromshoulder


Moving on. We went on a tour of NASA. We took some pictures. I only remember one thing now - One of the engines in some XYZ rocket weighed 15650 pounds. And there was more than one engine in that rocket. That is all I remember now. #IDontRememberTrivia


The second most memorable trip was to the Houston Meenakshi Amman Temple. Sounds so odd no? But we went. Straight to their canteen. Hot Venn Pongal and Sambar. Delicious. But they did not have the one thing I have been dreaming of since I came here - Vadai. We went on Friday. Vadai only on weekends it seems. #VadaiPoche


THE most unforgettable thing was, we went to this small place by the lake where they had a few "Exhibition - Raattanam" type rides. Me and Sukanya's friend "Ethi-vittufied" Sukanya and goaded her on to take the roller coaster ride with us. Actually matter is, for me also Building-Strong-Foundation-Weak only, but Sukanya didn't know that. People mentioned that the "apparatus" was wooden and not metal and so it was uncomfortable etc. But yuvar honour, my problem was, I had a "falling" feeling in stomach. The ride started, Sukanya closed her eyes tight, and we went hurtling down at top speed and - screeeeeeeeeech. No, that was not the wind. My voice came tearing out of my lungs - "Ammmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa". My paatu teacher would have been glad to listen to me finally opening my mouth and singing aloud. I was so sure the train was gonna go awry and fly away from the rails. One consolation was, there was water all around. I would not have broken bones, or so I consoled myself. By the time I finished this risk analysis, the ride was over. We were dazed and got down. They said we could collect our photographs from some booth. But that booth was closed. So, there is no proof to record this historic incident in which we...err..I faced my fears and Sukanya did not. #HistoryWasMade


But, the one thing that upset her was - she lost her hair band. As for me, I found my voice. #NoHashTagForThis


Great trip. #Whattey


Claimer: This post is evidence that the author who has always enjoyed wasting time, now does that on Twitter. She is fascinated as to how the hashtag makes capturing the essence of complicated stuff simple and fun. #KeepItSimpleSilly

Days of our lives

I remember reading a novel by R.K.Narayan - The vendor of Sweets. The protogonist is a typical R.K.Narayan novel hero - one who is content with his life and does not like change. A simple person who is often bewildered by the smallest of changes. A person who loves his routine. A person whose conscience tortures him every time he utters a small lie and whose face automatically detects his mind's consternation and contorts itself into an expression that gives him away.

My mother grew up among such people. She had a simple childhood. She went to school too. She attended college. She had an ambition too - No, she did not want to be a happily married woman at home. She works to this day and has no intention to retire soon.

Where are such people? Where have those days gone?

So many things from my childhood seem so far off now. Playing games out in the open. Paper boats in the puddles on the front yard on rainy days. Playing paandi during lazy afternoons. Pallaankuzhi matches with grandmothers. My favorite game was spreading out all my "soppu saamaan" (play toys) from a big basket and playing with them. Being the only child, I made up my own world and characters.

I remember my mother cultivating the reading habit in me. She used to pick up a book and read at a particular time of the day, everyday. My mother was my only playmate and my heroine. So I started mimicking her. Eventually, even if she did not read, I started reading at that time of the day. I wonder, will there be hard copies of books, say 30 years down the lane? Or will they have become archaic like the gramophone? Will there be simple pleasures like opening a new book and savoring the smell and its feel?

I remember going to Meenakshi amman temple on Sunday mornings with my dad on his cycle. We used to watch ducks in the Vaigai river(Recently, I have, sadly, not been able to see even a slight trickle of water in the location where the "river" once flowed). I wonder whether dads will have time to see their children, what with their multiple tuition classes and coaching classes.

I had never seen a mobile phone in close quarters until my dad got one during my 11th standard. I got mine during my second year at college. Now, my friend's daughter unlocked my touch phone by herself and placed a call to another friend from it. She is in playschool.

My mother often says that her generation got to be children during their childhood and had innocence while growing up. Even a few years ago, we had the luxury of being children atleast until our 10th standard. But now? I am not sure. Maybe, sometime in the future my friend's touch phone-savvy daughter will write a blog about the simple joy of buying her first Macbook pro.

Disclaimer and warning:
1. Please note, I am not old. Also, please note, serious posts like these might follow, in the future. I am a serious management student now :P.
2. If you had thought this post is about Joey or F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I am not sorry I tricked you. That was the intent. Don't be a child, now.

Father magan

A guy has "the talk" with his dad, after he finishes his studies. His dad finds out that all his son wants to do is flirting. This is just an imaginary conversation between father and son, with lines picked off from Thevar Magan...just for fun.

Note: Some of Sivaji's dialogues have been used for the son. This conversation is not a direct mapping of the movie dialogues like Sivaji's dialogues --> Father Kamal's dialogues --> son.

Father: ama...idu namma oorku prayosanama irkum la...

Son: namakku prayosanama irkum...

Father: seri...idellam epdi inge pannuve? unaku ida pathi lam theryuma?

Son: illa ayya adu namma oorla panra idea ve illa...Chennai Bangalore Hyderabad...madri edathula...like a chain of restaurants...(he is talking about possible locations)

Father: tamizh tamizh...

Son: Anda ithum baingale...idu..

Father: enna da adu? (So this fellow intends to go off and have fun leaving me in this forlorn village? huh!)

Son: ayya kovathula ededo pesureeyale...

Father: ipdi pesi pesiye dan oru kayya kondutu poitainga...

After a pause

Father: Ingaye irappa...naalu perukku edo nalladu seyyappa nu sonnen...apdye enakum oru vela potu kudu...

guy:(horrified) padhaaraadenga ayya...

Father looks at oor makkal - another bunch of guys like his son.

Father: (Realises that his son is definitely not going to include him in his gallivanting spree and gives up) Ida parunga da...inime ivaru dan ungaluku ellam...ivar solra madriye seyyunga...

Father walks away in a huff, accompanied by baritone voices singing the praise of Father's forefathers, in the background, while his son sighs in relief.

Girl stuff - Educational material

10 reasons why it sucks to be a girl

1. You cant even plan anything on ur own without mentally addressng questions from family, or worse, boyfriend.

2. There is curfew time for anything n everything. If you are an unmarried girl from a middle class family, not even a single "sanctioned" glimpse of nightlife to you.

3. You cant be alone. You should not be alone. If you are, you are "modern" and you "dont know ur limits".

4. If you say you are not interested in marriage, you are definitely in love with some loafer, who belongs to another caste.

5. If you eat out alone, you have lost ur femininity bcos a) u din attempt cooking (or) b) u are not economic.

6. If you politely refuse a trip to the temple or blurt out that you do not chant slokas at home everyday, even though people know that not all girls chant everyday, admitting to it is acknowledging your sacrilege.

7. You cant repeat a dress within a timeframe of 2 weeks. Even guys notice dat and worse, ask you about it(yes, some obnoxious types do that).

8. You cant wake up in the middle of the night and go out for a walk even in your own garden. not safe. Not safe - you also have to answer a dozen questions.

9. When you are at school, you cant sit, resting your elbows on the table. Wrinkled elbows are looked down upon.

10. You cant go and play after 10th standard. If u r 25, no way, you are mentally ill if you show an interest in casual outdoor games, unless you pay a hefty amount to a sports club(that is investing in your health).

The Commandments of the girl kingdom

1. Thou shall keep in mind that any outting plan with another girl is bound to not happen, 98%. If its an all girls gang thing, 99.5%, its not gonna happen - atleast one of them will drop out.

2. Thou shall keep in mind that if thou art talking to a girl, and she gets a call from a guy(not stalker types), she will cut thy call, 90%. If thy call is waiting, she will ignore the waiting call, if she is talking to a guy.

3. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant borrow even a safety pin from another girl, if thou does not intend to let her borrow your senti stuff.

4. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant ever take sides with the person who is right, if both are girls. Thou shall keep in mind that thou can never be frank. Thou shall have an all time ally and stick to her else thou shall b left alone and bitched about by the above-mentioned 2 participants.

5. Thou shall keep in mind that thou must put up with stories about "the" guy even if thou art sick of him as a topic of conversation. Thou just has to. With a smile, with atleast feigned interest. Else, thou shall have no one to talk to.

6. Thou shall keep in mind that "the" guy is thy brother. always. Thou shall put up with the "safe" way of removing thou from the competitors list, even if "he" is not someone thou would even think of saying hello

7. Thou shall keep in mind that thy friend(the girl) can never be wrong. neither can her boyfriend.

8. Thou shall accept the fact that if there is a gang of 3 girls, one will be the apparently reserved but actually kadalai type, one will be the giggly type and the third, thou - will be the silent sufferer type.

9. Thou shall keep in mind that thou can never have more than one girl as thy close friend. if thou cross that limit, thou art doomed to face an "am-possessive-about-you-dont-talk-to-her" melodrama every week.

10. Thou shall keep in mind that if thy friend has a boyfriend or worse, a husband, thou, the "best" friend is the last person on earth she will think abt. But of course, thou art her twin soul and thou shall understand even if she forgot thy existence for a year and calls when she is bored and hangs up the moment her husband is back. She is thy best friend.

11. Thou shall keep in mind that if thou snaps at thy "close" friend for being giggly, thou shall camouflage it with, "I know about you...but those guys might mistake you...I just didn't know how to put it...am sorry". Then she shall give the perfect finishing- "awwww".

12. Thou shall keep in mind that wherever there are girls, there are gangs. Thou shall remember this and stick to thy gang. Thou shall not try to cross over, that is a stupid risk and thou shall be left out of every available gang. Even guys cant talk to thou in such a case.

13. Thou shall keep in mind that thou art out shopping, thou shall read faces. If thy friend likes a dress, thou shall shut thy opinion that it does not suit her, in an iron case in the deepest recesses of thy mind, even if thou does not want to walk with her in that outfit.

14. Thou shall keep in mind that thou has to listen to everything, literally, happening in thy friend's life. Thou shall give the opinion that she wants to hear. detect her state of mind n frame sentence accordingly.

15. Thou shall keep in mind that thou art also expected to share everything, however personal it is and thou shall listen to opinions albeit uncalled for and thou has to suffer follow ups on the supplied free advice.

16. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant expect much critical help from girls, not unless there is a sudden pang of conscience or she happens to be thy best friend, but thou shall be criticised for not "asking".

17. Thou shall keep in mind that thou shall give "company" for saree wearing days. if thou does not, thou art a traitor.

18. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant try somebody's hairstyle or dress pattern or slippers or basically anything. If thou does, thou shall endure the comment "that was my style" everytime thou art seen.

19. Thou shall keep in mind that thou can never be just friends with a guy, ever. Thy friends will always speculate a brewing romance.

20. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant simply talk 2 sentences about a guy suddenly. Thou has a crush on him.

21. Thou shall keep in mind that thou cant be "jus happy". Thou art in love.

Most importantly - Thou shall keep in mind that thou shall never believe a guy. - This commandment is dedicated to Balakumaran, who devilishly slashed off one zero from the amount he promised to pay me per line, if I wrote these commandments.

Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The "Marriagesoon" season

Every year, I dread the onset of the "Marriagesoon" season, but the past 2 - 3 years have taken a heavy toll on my tolerance levels. I shall take the time and pen down an explanation of statement number one, don't worry. This post is all about that.

I shall go about answering the questions I anticipate from the reader, and also talk what I want to, in the guise of "answering" your questions. Note: Did you notice what a novel story telling methodology I propose? Hence proved, I am good.

About the Marriagesoon season - The onset of this season has not been identified exactly, but it usually starts around late October - early November. People start calling you up with starters like "hey there is something big coming up..." "Hi...guess what..."..some folks come to the point, no nonsense "Hi, I am getting married, finally!". There is an unmistakable tone of victory in their voices, be it the brides or the grooms. Well, congrats, I say, from the bottom of my heart.

Now, why do I dread it? Well, to be frank, it is the most amusing experience to listen about the "one", but after a point, the stories become repetitive. Even that is fine, I read the same novel a 100 times, this is no big deal. The difficult part to skirt around is, one is put on the spot sometimes with "opinion" questions like, "what do you think of him/her?". You have to agree with me, that is a precarious position. I always feel like saying, "Does it matter? Are you going to change your decision because of what I say?". But I am the sweet friend, I smile, hum and haw and non-committedly manage to utter general pleasantaries and escape. phew!

I love shopping but its a totally different affair when it comes to shopping with a soon-to-be bride. The doubts and second thoughts are a 1000 times worse. I never know what to do when their "sweetheart" calls them while shopping. I can't stare at her while she is on the phone, that would be rude. I can't move away, she would ask, "why did you just go off? That was rude." or worse, some people extend the phone to me and ask me to talk to my "brother" (sly, I know).

The part that personally affects me the most is, I am so used to being the "official-assistant-of-the-kalyana-ponnu", that I have the almost perfect algorithm to orchestrate a tam-bram wedding, but no, the mamis and mamas are not content with that. They assume that me being in the "right age" gives them the license to refer me as a prospective bride to their numerous relatives/acquaintances. I have exhausted myself, trying to come up with plausible answers to the question - "When are you getting married?"

I don't know about their parents, but I sure am happy that most of my friends are married now. No more weddings in the pipeline for some more time. Thanks for the break folks!

Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Who's the Hero?

It is understandable that the yesteryear heroine never recognized her "athan" just because he skipped shaving the stubble on his face, for a bit longer than usual, for a "disguise". It is understandable because, the basic assumption those days was that women were a species unfortunately doomed to possess a vacuous "mel maadi" but, on the bright side, destined for a possible candidature for the next solitary female statue in Chennai beach(albeit requiring them to quickly acquire arsonistic qualities after the demise of their unfaithful husbands).

What amuses me even after so many years of watching Tamil cinema is, why does the so called mean, tricky, treacherous villain never get it? His chief career skill, apart from involving in sleazy activities and roaring out the famous villainous laughter jig is supposed to be his ability to think up almost applaudably intricate plots against the hero. The villain medidates devilments to trouble the hero even when he is with his ladies.

He is almost like Hanuman, with the hero always in his heart, the only difference being, he also wants to shoot an arrow(or in comparatively modern times, a bullet) through the person in his heart. In some movies, the villain is almost like a scorned lover. His eyes turn red, his voice becomes rough and his whole body trembles during a confrontation with the hero. So, is it not right to assume that he would atleast recognise his heartthrob?

Interesting, no? Yet, this is one of the puzzles that are better not delved into(Now, don't ask me what I did all this while - I need something to write about).

We take the personality shifts and the bouts of "selective" amnesia in our politicians(omg, even actors and sportspeople and journalists and....lack of space) with amazing nonchalance. No wonder we pardoned the villain's "chilly" mistake :)

Offensive language in TV and radio shows

Mass media like television and radio reach a huge audience and therefore, the impact of these media on the public is great. Any such tool that is capable of possibly influencing the thoughts and actions of people has to be monitored carefully. The reach of these media has to be leveraged to promote a positive mindset.

There might be an argument that such offensive language and behavior is bound to appear in reality shows, which are claimed to be reflections of the society but such language and behavior on popular shows only tend to make it look “cool” to youngsters. It is also an undeniable fact that youngsters of today are the adults of tomorrow. Their normal vocabulary will consist of foul words, which will be passed on to their children.

One comes across a lot of such programs. Reality shows, in which the participants hurl vile words at each other just for the sake of the prize money and to boost the ratings of the channel, are so common these days. These channels repeatedly show such behavior in snapshots, during the promos of such shows, to get more people to watch it. They are cashing in on the general human tendency to lean towards the darker side.

Common people no longer think about what they are going to say, on radio or on TV. The idea nowadays seems to be, speaking without thinking is speaking out one’s mind. Such shows portray thinking before speaking as a sign of weakness, by creating an image that words spoken spontaneously are those that come from deep within. That might not be the case always. Such “spontaneous” speech is more often a reproduction of the constant garbage that is hounded on them by the radio and TV shows.

On the other hand, interviews with real people, with real troubles – people who do not frame their speeches are educative in the sense that they show the public what their fellow human beings are going through. These programs create awareness, a gratitude for the position that one is in and the wish to reach out and help those in suffering.

Censorship of television and radio programs should indeed be there, in order to remind them of the great responsibility that they have. Censorship should be to the extent that the basic idea behind the program does not get affected. The intent behind the program (as to whether it is for entertainment/education/news/awareness creation) should also be kept in mind during the censor process. Programs which contain unnecessary amounts of offensive language or behavior, which might harm the public mindset, might as well be scrapped, since they add no value to the audience.

To be or not to be....heard!

Who has not heard of the tower of babel...? This expression is often used when people want to describe a place with a lot of confusion and noise. That is exactly what I am reminded every time I watch talk shows or discussions in most of our news channels.

Politicians clamoring to grab a chance to make their point, journalists
shouting at a higher pitch, in order to be heard over the din... A picture that
is quite common these days. What ails these people? Don't we teach kids at
school to not shout and to be polite and attentive to their opponents,
irrespective of how unreasonable that person's argument might be? Haven't we
seen teachers rebuking students who cannot maintain silence in the class?

I sometimes think that, the very concept of journalism has changed these days,
when TV channels are racing against each other, to prove and establish their own
surveys on which is the most widely watched channel(point to be noted - we do
not know how true the survey is, because every channel claims to be the most
acclaimed. By whom, I wonder!) The popular notion seems to be, get a celebrity,
say a politician(the poor devil is the easiest target, since he has always been
easy to question...Since we know there is a common perception that to be a
politician, one has to be corrupt in every possible way.). Prepare all the questions that one could think of, and keep shooting them in regular intervals.

The most important tip that seems to be given to these "journalists" seems to be, "Do not allow the other person to make a valid point. Even if he does, ignore it. We do not want him to talk or be heard."

No matter what the other person wants to say, the tone of the interview and its outcome is predetermined(by whom, I know not). If that person is low on the popular vote(determined by whom? how?) then the journalist keeps talking during the entire span of the show, leaving people like me wondering as to what was the point of inviting the other one to the show!

I have often felt that these shows are more like Interrogations(only the questioning part though. Answers are not expected.) and less like Interviews, though that is the name given to them.

If it is a movie star.... The scenario changes drastically! The "guest" might be a person with not a clue about what he/she is speaking, but, we are not concerned about that. The guest is a star...more people would tune into our channel...so just let them speak whatever they want to...Who cares how insensible or pointless the chatter is?! The "star" keeps talking of some personal travail and the "journalist" listens to it as if it is the most important issue that ails the millions in this country.

I am personally irritated by these kinds of shows. What is the point of journalism, if everything that happens on a news channel is preconceived and done with some motive other than the sole aim of bringing to light the urgent issues that demand our attention as a people?

The flash news - Breaking news like a famous celebrity couple(not even married yet, his 3rd girlfriend...her 5th boyfriend) breaking up.... I have often wondered at the pointlessness! Do the anchors themselves find these so called "news" worthy enough to be mentioned on national television?

Where is responsible journalism, one that does not blow things above their appropriate proportions, one that does not keep harping on the same news and digging further and further into things that are best left unnoticed, one that does not display irresponsible and over curious and sometimes manner less poking into other people's lives? When will they stop people from killing themselves to escape the cameras? When will they stop playing the same horrible videos just because there is nothing else to cover the time? Is there any hope of reviving the honor that journalism once had?

I hope good times are around the corner!

Cinema – a discussion

I had quite an interesting conversation with a friend recently. We were talking about the need to convey a message through cinema. Is it correct to expect cinema to convey some message, does it really have an impact on people, if so, on what section of the population etc.


We first started discussing about when people feel the need to go to watch a film. Often, it is boredom. Also, nowadays, it has become sort of a habit for people to go for movies. Just like the way we go to the beach, park or the shopping mall, cinema is one of the time pass destinations. The theatre is one place where one can spend 3 hours, seated comfortably, in a make believe world populated with beautiful people (actors). We get lost in their travails and tend to forget our real life tensions for some time.


Do people really imbibe something after watching a movie? Does cinema affect them? Should it?


Cinema, according to me, should provide something people can relate to and take back home... Something to cheer them up, inspire them, something to think about, or something to seriously change in themselves. The common perception is, that cinema is taken seriously only by the middle and upper class population but I feel that when an uneducated person watches a movie, it has a greater impact on him because the movie is one of the very few sources of exposure for him.


One more issue remains and that is – Is it correct to try to convey a message through cinema? Will a film maker be doing something right by trying that, or will he be leading people from one wrong thing to another? After all, what is correct from one point of view may be wrong from another.


The conclusion that we came to, after discussing was that human beings generally have an illusion in their minds that it is something outside them, that influences their moods and actions, whereas in reality, it is their mind that changes and governs their actions. Most of us are used to reacting to the various stimuli that we come across everyday and thus shaping our lives. So, when that is the case with the majority of the population, when a film maker takes a film that provides a stimulus for people to stop something bad or encourage something good, then so be it!

The Economic or emotional slump???

Being a software professional during these times of “economic slump” is perceived by a majority of the population as a huge risk. The same profession that was considered “the best” by the same people just a few months ago is now considered a gamble.

I hear many people saying that the trouble in being a software engineer now is that we are expected to be proactive, trying to push ourselves further and come up with innovative ideas. I say, is that not something any professional has to do during the entire span of his/her profession? I do not restrict the statement above, as one applicable only to software professionals. Any one, doing any job… Is not the value we add to our job or hobby or service, the factor that sets us apart from others? Do we not look for the best person to stitch our dress, the best maid to clean our house, the hotel that offers our the most sumptuous dinner and the transport agency that takes us to our destination faster than the others?

When we expect the best from others, don’t we have to stop and consider the fact that others also, would naturally expect the best from us? True, no one can be perfect, but we all can strive to be better than what we already are. No one can stop others from firing you, but you can make sure that they accept you in some other company. No one can stop your unfair manager from showing favoritism, but you can definitely focus one’s energy on things that will hone your skills. That definitely is more worthwhile than cribbing about your manager over whom you do not have control. True talent and sincerity can not ever be ignored for a long time nor will it go unrecognized.

Finally I believe that whatever an individual truly wishes, heart of hearts, is what happens to him/her. If one says aloud, “I want to be the CEO of a great company” but inside you also think, “Me..CEO?? (sigh) I am not even able to get my energy recognized by my team…how do I become a CEO?”….. That is what you truly think…you believe that you don’t deserve to be the CEO and you don’t become one. Finally, people end up saying that nothing is fair in life

Let us start each day positively and progress towards our moments of glory, with an alert and eager mind. I believe “Tough times never last, but tough people do!”

Elementary, my dear Watson….

Boredom… This is something I face everyday of my professional life. From the lack of interesting things to do, boredom in my case has come to lack of anything to do(sometimes)…! I sit in office day after day….wondering where I went wrong…choosing my company or my profession.. Maybe I should have stuck to writing as a career option, or teaching which was once my dream job 

I used to think I was the only person with this problem… then I realized to my dismay (and a kinda impish satisfaction) that most of the people around me in office are sailing in the same boat. I then began to study the various techniques people employ to overcome this “everyday” problem.

There are some masters in this art of dealing with boredom. Many of them deceive themselves, making their minds believe that they are actually busy. They do things like scrolling their inboxes many times…refreshing it…reading old useless mails multiple times…playing sudoku…taking one hour to compose a single line mail…trying to compose the mail in which they update the week’s activities(no activities done.. but u need to boost the manager’s ego that his project is doing something great)

I have even heard many employees say, “I was very busy today, lotsa forwarded mails to read…”

So what do I do to overcome this problem and leverage this opportunity to make my time fruitful? What can anyone possibly do to ward off the danger that an idle mind heralds?

I discovered that blogging is quite a good way of bringing out our creativity and in some cases, letting out some steam too. Definitely better than pointlessly chatting about the latest gossip with your team mate.

Sometimes.. only when I blogged, I discovered that I really had an opinion about that issue…that I really had such kinda vocabulary… that I was able to spin off a blog entry so quickly..

That is when I discovered the fact that whatever we do very well, is the one on which we have spent the greatest time. A lazy person will always be lazy, unless he starts doing something and spends more and more time being active. If you sleep for 12 hours a day… you will be an expert in sleeping. If you spend 5 hours a day practicing dance, it will show in your performance.

It is the simple phenomenon which all of us just brush away with “Oh that is so simple. We know this since kindergarten”. What we do not realize is that all the greatest concepts on earth are SIMPLE.

Is nt that what the greatest detective and one of the sharpest minds in the literary world often used to say while explaining his seemingly impossible deductions of apparently complex cases?
“Elementary, my dear Watson”

Let them fall…..

One of the games I have seen children play is blowing air near floating feathers – to keep them floating. How beautiful and graceful it is to watch the light and cute feathers gently rock left and right like a small boat on waves….. How our heart goes out to the pretty thing….. We blow air to keep it floating. After a period of time we tire of pushing air out of our system forcefully….. Did anyone ask us to keep the feather suspended in air? Did it request your breath? Did it say it did not like the comfort of lying down on mother Earth?

A feather or anything similar that obeys the law of gravity like leaves, dandelion, dust, raindrops or even a ball, is bound to fall down. And let me assure you, they do not mind it! Indeed they want it!

What is the point of trying to do something to change something which you know does not need to change? Or what is the point in holding on to something that you have to let go, in the name of silly sentiments? Why should you exert yourself for something that does not require your effort?

Let us learn to let go of things that have to be let off….things which have to be let go, things which do not require us… things which hurt us when we try to hold them back….

Let the raindrops tumble down… Let the feathers float…. and also…. Let them fall….!

Am I alluding to something here? Let me let you think :-)

Monday Morning Blues

The dawn of the day that heralds the monotony of one more week of “Back to the same old routine”, traffic, “oops! Am late! “, “Where is my ID card, mother? “ and many more utterances of the average Indian…. The day that breaks the languor and leisure of the weekend….The day that is not especially liked by a majority of normal human beings who are not workaholics (and studyaholics or whatever those addicted to attending every single class in college are called  ) – No special prizes for guessing the answer – Monday - the first day among the five that separate one weekend from the next.

The major hurdles that one needs to manage are - the time one has to wake up is in the wee hours of the morning, before the sun greets the earth with his radiant smile.( One does not wake up with that kind of smile, for sure), the dynamics of the body has to be doubled up in speed, reflexes have to be faster and most unfortunate of all, one simply cannot afford to dilly – dally in the front porch and indulge in harmless and unproductive chitchat with one’s neighbours.

No haggling with the vegetable vendor… If he does not accept your terms of bargain – just give the lucky devil the amount he demands (this is what ladies like my mother do) otherwise just ignore the fellow (my grandmother’s technique) and go for the one next to him – he will definitely give in to you, having heard of your bargaining skills and the looks that you bestow upon less fortunate people like his colleague sitting near him the next time you pass by.

Prayer time? In the morning hours? Sure… But definitely not the kind of time you get to spend on holidays. No time to maintain the great rapport that you believe you had established with the almighty during the weekend. Of course a hurried mumbling of the few sacred verses that you know since childhood and a mental consolation “God will understand…He knows my schedule…after all, he intends it to be this way!” Of course my dear, God understands, completely.

Phone calls to friends and relatives just do not seem to be able to fit in within the weekday schedule and if indeed, you do manage to make a call, there is no guarantee that Vijaya mami at the other end has the time to spare…what with her kid’s homework and her husband who just returned from work, demanding coffee instantly.

There is no substitute for Monday. It is like an icebreaker for those fresh from a good Sunday night’s sleep. It enables you to imply the enormity or importance or gravity of a situation by likening the situation to a Monday morning. Everybody knows what I say is true… Are you all not nodding your heads in agreement while reading the statement? (Well, I am, at least nodding my head!) Can you not liken the expression of foreboding and fear and similar feelings that cannot be put in words, on the face of a ten year old when someone mentions casually, “Tomorrow is Monday” ?

I am sure many adults will now appreciate what R.K. Narayan sought to imply with the opening lines of his first novel – Swami and Friends … “It was Monday morning”.

True, the same weekend lag (like jetlag) will exist, if Tuesday were the first day among the weekdays. I totally agree with Shakespeare’s words, “What is in a name?”.
But the day after Sunday has always been and still is Monday, is it not…? And so we shall never be able to substitute with anything else, the phenomenon that the morning this day is famous for – Monday Morning Blues!

Who taught them???

"Grass is green

Blue is the sky

I love you

don't ask why!"

-says Tom to Jerry!!!

"Oh my oh my!

what a pretty visage....

If I had the money,

I would build you the Taj!"

The tiger boasts to the lamb!!!

"With wings of feather

I shall fly you to the heavans

Do not doubt me ever....

Eat you? Me?? Never!!"

sings the Eagle to the little Penguin!!!

What happened to the jungle?

What a change of heart?!

What caused the hunters to mingle

with the hunted? I know not!

"Silly little girl"

-That is the Chimpanzee

"They got it from your lot.

Humans,you call yourselves,is it not?"

"Yes!" I wonder aloud

"That sure does part the clouds"

A ray of comprehension

grabs my attention.

"You get it for free

We do not want money

(He He! We have other sources

Interest,credit cards-our lethal forces!)"

-Does it ring a bell?

The nation is our priority

We will handle any calamity

Service is our motto

This is not for the photo!

(But our schemes are for us,

Voters-forgive us

and do vote again,

We still have much to gain!)"

Don't we see them everyday?

Salesmen,politicians and many more

Lying is now a way of life

for our species.

But we do prosper

We think we are superior.

The foolishness of our acts

will strike us like an axe

when jungle creatures do the same.

Our eyes will reflect the shame.

All is well that ends well

The cool breeze stuns my skin
heralding the arrival of rain.
I am cold at first,
numbness comes next,
later I am craving for more!

The journey begins as an egg
and then a creepy worm...
Now - a still and lifeless form...
Lo and behold,there flutters out the butterfly!

From a meagre spring
to being a waterfall,
the river dodges rocks and boulders
surpassing and conquering all...
metamorphing into the mighty ocean!

Here I am - excited and bewildered
with responsibility and adulthood-
but faith and hope keep up my spirits
All is well and all is for good...