Manja Pai Super Hero

"Unna padikka vechen, avana paNayamaa vechen.

Unna Karuppu gown maati azhagu paaka, avanukku Kaakhi uniform maatinen. 

Nee Degree vaangarthuku avan kai le Degree glass ah kuduthen. 

Unna College ku anupinen, avana Garage ku anupinen"

Ammayappan Mudhaliar's immortal words in Samsaram Adhu Minsaram while chiding his eldest son Chidambaram for being disrespectful to his younger brother Siva. While admitting that he discriminated between his sons, the protagonist brings out the contrast in their trajectories in life. The beauty of the alliterations in these Tanglish sentences is not lost on the audience, thanks to the superb dialogue delivery by Visu himself. 

Yes, I do know many Visu movie dialogues by heart. There are those who think that his movies were ridiculous. There is some truth in some of the criticism. For example, the way he treated feminism and female characters, but one needs to consider the nuance involved. There were movies in which he seemed to relegate women to the position of second class citizens who were expected to obey their husbands and stomach difficulties with the demeanor of a duck on water. On the other hand, within the constraints of those times, he did portray the silent strength of women. Uma (Samsaram Adhu Minsaram) orchestrates the reunion of the family even though she has no direct decision making powers. The women in Kudumbam oru Kadhambam demonstrate their tenacity by braving storms and earning the respect of their menfolk. These movies were not revolutionary in terms of women breaking the mold but every woman in the 80s and 90s could relate to them and their struggles. 

The importance of on-screen representation is old news to us today. In the 80s and 90s, when Tamil cinema shamelessly cast women exclusively for the "glamour" quotient, Visu's movies were indeed a breath of fresh air. His heroines dressed like your neighbor and rarely wore make up. The sets resembled your home. The central plot in the movie revolved around a common middle-class issue like property disputes, family budget, marital discord, greed, care of aging parents and dowry. What set Visu's movies apart was the clever screenplay, the dialogues and the climax which was usually shot in the pillared courtyard of a South Indian home and of course, the lead character played by Visu himself. He was the "Mama" with a manja pai. He loved food, respected women (in the 80s way) and elders and valued family above all else. He was resourceful and came up with out of the box ideas to rescue the family and bring justice to those who deserved it. Best of all, the movies (with the exception of Varavu Nalla Uravu) ended on a happy note.

Who wouldn't love a super hero in veshti with manja pai?

Happy for you

This post is an exercise I have been trying for some time now. I wrote whatever sentence came to my mind. No editing. I did not plan on any plot, no ending in mind. This is just to see what I can come up with, by letting my mind go free. I enjoyed it.

"I'll give you 30 rupees for that"

"No no! Fixed price madam, 50 rupees."

"Come on anna, 35"

"What are you going to gain by saving 15 rupees...fixed price madam"

"I am not being unreasonable. 35."

"Ok, give me 40"

"Fine, what choice do I have? Here you go"

She got the pair of earrings and started walking away, a sense of satisfaction traveling through her veins creating a sense of victory in its wake. The joy of haggling for 15 rupees for a nice pair of earrings that you really did not need but want to get nevertheless is unequaled. It is a girl thing.

She was about to cross the road when she heard her name being called out.

"Harini! Harini, here, behind you on your right!"

She turned and saw Prakash. 

"Oh no, not this guy" she thought.

"Oh hi!" she smiled. That smile was reserved for such emergency situations. She felt like kicking herself for stopping to buy those stupid earrings. She would have been on the bus by now. 

"Long time no see. How have you been?"

"Good good." she smiled again. She hoped the conversation would wither away. She wanted to exchange 2 more sentences after which she could safely say that she would like to talk more but she really had to leave. Polite, but not interested. That would be the perfect way to leave. Only if life were that easy.

"I was actually going to call you now. How is work?"

"Going good, how is work for you?"

Great, 2 exchanges down, one more to go.

"Going good. Actually I am thinking of getting married and settling down now."

Oh God, now I have to be polite, exclaim that it is great to hear that and ask him something about it. One more exchange of pleasantries. Fine.

"That is great! All the best!" 

There, polite but not interested. Now dude, just say thank you so that I can leave.

"Do you remember your friend Ramaa from school? We are in a relationship now. We are getting married next month." He gushed.

Aww, I am sure that is the most important thing to you but I am really not interested. 

"Oh yes I remember her. It is very nice to hear that you guys are a couple. Do convey my best wishes to her too. We have not been in touch for a while."

"Oh, you have not spoken to her in a while, isn't it? We talk about you often. Wait, let me call her. She would love to talk to you"

What? No no, this cannot be happening to me.

"Oh, it is ok. She must be busy. I'll find her on Facebook and talk to her later. Don't disturb her now"

"No no, she has resigned her job and is at home. She will be thrilled to talk to one of her old school friends."

Oh man, why do I get caught in these situations! I should have just got her phone number and said that I would call her later.

He dialled Ramaa's number.

"Hi sweetie, guess what, I am with Harini. Yes, yes. I just saw her here. Yes, I was just telling her about us. Do you want to talk to her?"

She cursed her own politeness and took the phone grudgingly, while maintaining a neutral smile plastered on her face.

"Hi Ramaa! How are you?...Yes, I am good....Yes, he told me. Very happy for you guys, congrats...Oh no no, why would I mind. We are old friends but we have not been in touch for a while now. Why would I mistake you for not telling me...Seriously, I am happy for you. My best wishes to both of you...Yes, I'll definitely try to come...uhh, ok yes, I'll come..Nice talking to you, let me give the phone to Prakash"

He took the phone, went a little further, spoke to Ramaa for a few seconds and came back.

Ok, are we done here? I really must leave now.

"It was nice meeting you after a long time, Prakash. Congrats again. I need to leave now..I have some work."

"Thanks Harini..." He hesitated "Thank you for talking to Ramaa. It really means a lot to both of us."

"Hey, no problem. Bye!"

"Bye" He looked very thankful and relieved.

She was certainly relieved to walk away.

She rushed to the bus stop and got into her bus. She took out her headphones and started listening to her favorite song. She had not listened to it for years. She got a text message. It was from Prakash:

"Thank you again Harini, for being so kind. It is really nice of you to be happy for me and Ramaa. I am so sorry about everything, again. I regret all the unhappiness I caused in our marriage. I hope our divorce was the right thing for you too."

Of course it was the right thing. She deleted the text and changed the song.

Kids and brats

The trumpets blared. The thavils sounded like their membrane would tear any moment. The singer's voice was definitely on the verge of cracking. Our hero could feel his heart thumping hard enough to shatter the rib cage. He squared his shoulders, fetched the arrow from behind him and nocked it on the bow. 

He furiously glared at me and shouted "Get ready to DIEEEEE! Jai Shri Ram!"

I cowered and bowed low. "Please Oh mighty Hanuman, please let me go!"

He looked at me, wavering between the impulse to finish me off and the benevolent instinct to forgive me.

"Soya, it is getting late for school! WHERE ARE YOU?"

He looked behind me. Amma was walking towards us. I looked at him, wondering how he would react to the unexpected entry of my mother. Clearly he had not expected her to barge into our confrontation.

He blinked. He scurried away, dropping his bow and arrow.

I know what you are thinking. Why does Hanuman need a bow and arrow to kill me? I hope you also wondered why he wanted to kill me, in the first place. Oh, and why did he run away when he saw my mother approaching us?

Well, "Hanuman" was our tenants' kid. He was 4 years old at the time and loved watching mythological serials (Om Namah Shivay and Jai Hanuman) and Shakthimaan. I was his only playmate. I think I was in 5th standard. He got to kill me with bow and arrow or with his bare hands, chase me around though I had to stop and slow down many times to let him catch up with me. He was my only playmate too, so I got to make krishnar kondai on his head (they had not cut his hair for a long time) and drag him to all my grocery shop errands. 

It was so much fun playing around with him. His parents moved into a portion in our house when he was a baby. I loved carrying him around. I never had a sibling, so I never missed a chance to carry babies or to play with other younger kids. The advantage of playing with younger kids was, they doted on me :) I was the only human being other than their parents that could reach inaccessible shelves in the kitchen. I was the only person their parents would trust - I could vouch that they did not break anything and their parents believed me since I had a "chamathu" image. Even though I was elder to them, I was young enough to play with them and teach them things. I preferred younger kids because they never left me out in their games. I was the one in charge. My experience with older kids was mostly along these lines:

 "You are too short. You sit out for this round" 

or

 "You are the catcher. We will go and hide now forever".

I was the only child to my parents and we lived in a big house. That is the most disadvantageous situation for a child though people seldom see that. It is fine to have all the clothes, toys and attention but when one has to play alone in a water theme park - surely no amount of clothes or ice cream can compensate for that level of boredom. I don't like ice cream anyway. My parents did their best - they played chess with me, they took me out, encouraged me in everything I set out to do but I still have the feeling that I would have been a very different person if I had grown up with a sibling.

One must be bossed around by an elder sibling and irritated by a younger sibling while growing up. Practical jokes, fights over trivial things - these are essential aspects of the growing up process. Since I had none of these, I grew up as the child who followed rules, colored within the borders, was the teachers' pet, and became the school head girl. I could never lie with a straight face even for a prank. I have never skipped a chapter while studying for exams.

Strangely, though elders always advised them to follow my example, my playful, relaxed side has been kept alive thanks only to my bratty friends. I have always had a rebel friend at every stage of my life so far -one friend who is the anti-thesis of everything that I am. This friend never cares about the opinion of other people. This friend does not have a 'reputation' that he/she is forced to live up to. She/He is too cool for words and sticks up for me in all circumstances. This friend is everything I would like to be. I feel most comfortable with these brats. These are the ones who have never made me feel alone or awkward. They always bring out the irreverant, wicked Soya. I am at my sarcastic best with them. I laugh more, and live more. I am criticized the most by them, but unlike criticism from other quarters, their comments never sting my ego. I am the happiest when I am with them. 

So what if I have never jumped over the college wall? So what if I did not play pranks in class? So what if I did not imitate random callers in the hostel telephone? I have been around to enjoy all these innocuous, funny experiences. Thank god for my little playmates and rebel friends!

The Correct Answer

Whoever told people that dreaming was good? Dreams can sometimes leave you exhausted.

Her eyes opened unwillingly and the brain willed the muscles to move towards the kitchen. As usual, there was no food in the fridge - just milk. Coffee was made and consumed on her favorite easy chair. She started contemplating on life.

She decided to break the usual routine of watching TV and decided to go for a run. Or a jog. Or a jumpy walk. Or a casual stroll. Well, let's say she managed to get herself out of the house.
It was summer and the birds were chirping. There were flowers all around. Children playing, grandparents sitting on park benches. Balloon sellers were selling balloons. There was a mobile cotton candy stall and many children clamoring for the attention of the vendor who was smiling at all of them. A policeman was helping a blind person cross the road. 

That last image should have warned her.

*Honkkkk Screeeeccchhhhhh*

"HEY watch yourself lady!"

"These things just walk down the street as if they own the road! Pah!"

"Get off the road, you! I wonder whose face I saw when I woke up thi morning! Grrr!"

Her eyelids flew open and she nearly fell off the easy chair.

"Damn! I dozed off while drinking coffee?? What is wrong with me?!"

Well, she told herself - "I really have to get out. Get a life, girl." Her mind shot back "Whose life?" and laughed.

"This is my problem - living in my own world", she thought.

It was raining outside. She took an umbrella and went out. She walked on the road for some time, observing cars. There were not many people to observe and she did not particularly crave for human company. People can be really boring. They can be really interesting to themselves and to other people, but sometimes she just found it tiresome to be around people.She decided that not being a "people person" was her problem. 

"I need to cultivate an interest in people. Everybody is talking about people, whoever they are." She took out her note taking app on the phone.

To do
------
1. Become a people person

"OK, what else is my problem?" She thought long and hard. "Ah, yes, I am single. It is widely believed by people that it is not good to be single. And it is important to value peoples' opinion, if one wants to become a people person. Being single loses its coolness quotient once you cross a certain age. Then you become the old lady with the cats."

"No" she corrected. "I'll never own cats. They have an attitude problem. I will most probably be the old lady with the dogs."

"Huh? You are supposed to not get to that point, idiot. Add it to the list."

To do
------
1. Become a people person
2. Do not become old lady with dogs

"Well, what sort of an aim is that? Make it a positive statement. Those things have a greater probability of happening, according to scientific studies made up by popular personality coaches. OK."

To do
------
1. Become a people person
2. Find a guy

"Find a guy? Too open ended. Find a guy to go on road trips? Find a guy to take selfies with? Find a guy to marry? Find a guy to carry heavy grocery items? Be specific."

To do
------
1. Become a people person
2. Find a guy to marry

"Good. What kind of a guy do I want to marry? Well, that is a question without merit. I do not want to get married, people want me to. So I should probably ask them. They know what is best. Not necessarily for themselves, but for me."

To do
------
1. Become a people person
2. Find a guy to marry
3. Ask people whom to marry

"What next? One's problems are over if one gets married. One becomes two, you see."

Her mind started laughing at the absurd joke and stopped itself. She was a woman with a mission now. She turned back and walked home. She was going to get married and solve all her problems. Who said 42 was the answer to all problems? The correct answer is marriage.

Lost And Found

Actual Location: Nah, that would ruin the suspense.

Ok, assumed location: On the way to Yosemite National Park

People in the plot: 6 girls, a 7-seater SUV, 6 smart phones, 2 GPS'es and a lot of snacks

People(?) outside the plot: Coyotes, scary looking trees, a mountain, and a few "highways"

Time: Around midnight to early morning 

The SUV was climbing up the mountain, on a highway with no shoulder. Folks in India, stop wondering why a road must have a shoulder. A shoulder is the side of the road where you can stop your vehicle - we don't need that in India since we have freedom to stop anywhere.
Soya felt she had achieved something. She was on a road trip with friends and we were driving around. Soya was officially a grown up. We had thoughtfully taken 2 GPS'es and all of us had smart phones. The world was at our fingertips and the satellite was our servant. We were tech savvy like that and had no care in the world. Music was being played and people were chatting away and laughing. And then it happened.

The white figure on the road with long hair looked up at us with white and red eyes. We all screamed and * ear splitting vehicle skidding screech noises *! The vehicle got out of control after hitting her and fell down the mountain. Not. Read on. (I know, sorry, read on.)

The driver missed an exit. Well, who was bothered. The GPS asked us not to sweat but to turn and go into some dark road. Some people started making worried noises but the general consensus was that darkness will lead us to light and 15 minutes later, it did. Only, Soya felt slightly worried. Why are we not going back to the "original" road, she wanted to know. But then, the GPS knows so many routes to the same destination, like the Chennai auto driver. It tailors the route according to your stupidity. If you keep missing exits, it will take your on a roundabout route just like the Chennai auto driver taking you from KK nagar to Ashok Nagar via Pondi Bazaar. (Not from Chennai? Hah!)

The vehicle started going up a mountain. We were again slightly worried after half an hour of driving along a narrow curvy path with no other vehicle in sight. The phones were useless since there was no network coverage. There was no board saying "Yosemite ungalai anbudan varaverkiradu" ("Yosemite welcomes you with love"). Soya asked "Umm guys, do we have enough fuel for the next 100+ miles?" in the general direction of the front seat occupants.

"No, we have 1/4th of the tank. Might come up to 80 more miles."

Hmm. Everybody was silent.

Soya: "Umm..shouldn't we find a gas station to get some fuel? We are short of at least 20 miles worth fuel." (Maths at school was not such a complete waste after all.)

Then the 2 hour frenzy began. The GPS took us to a deserted campsite which it claimed was a gas station. When we told it that it was scary n dark with no gas station and that it had lied to us, it refused to show us the way out and took us to dangerously narrow turns within the same campsite 5 times. Finally everybody prayed to God and took the one turn that the GPS kept missing and got out of the maze.

We then selected another gas station which had a familiar name in the GPS list. The road had now become a single lane. We kept driving though we did not know whether we had sufficient fuel to reach the fuel station. Coyotes ran by the side of the road, in the forest. I thought I heard wolves howling and bears peaking at us from behind trees. Thankfully we got down the ghostly mountain.

It was not happily ever after there. No. Instead of finding ourselves on some highway in California, we found a board telling us that we were just 42 miles away from Carson city.
I had to jog my memory and some random reference from some Hollywood movie reminded me that this was Nevada, not California. To cut a lo-hoo-ng story short, we did pull into a fuel station. We took over the gas station store's computer and discovered that we were another 4 hours away from Yosemite, and that we had been climbing up the wrong mountain. If search parties had tried looking for us the next day, they would have been looking for us in the wrong mountain's valleys.

All of us did feel precious the moment we reached the gas station. We all thought we were going too die. A part of my mind was a tad, just a tad, disappointed because getting back alive from the devil mountain meant I was going to be a year older the next week on my birthday. Then I shook of that girlie mind voice. We were lost and found. That was more important to us and to the car rental company which had loaned us the wonderful GPS.

What happened after that? Well, this is just a sneak peak into the book I am going to write on this subject. Stay tuned.