Every year, I dread the onset of the "Marriagesoon" season, but the past 2 - 3 years have taken a heavy toll on my tolerance levels. I shall take the time and pen down an explanation of statement number one, don't worry. This post is all about that.
I shall go about answering the questions I anticipate from the reader, and also talk what I want to, in the guise of "answering" your questions. Note: Did you notice what a novel story telling methodology I propose? Hence proved, I am good.
About the Marriagesoon season - The onset of this season has not been identified exactly, but it usually starts around late October - early November. People start calling you up with starters like "hey there is something big coming up..." "Hi...guess what..."..some folks come to the point, no nonsense "Hi, I am getting married, finally!". There is an unmistakable tone of victory in their voices, be it the brides or the grooms. Well, congrats, I say, from the bottom of my heart.
Now, why do I dread it? Well, to be frank, it is the most amusing experience to listen about the "one", but after a point, the stories become repetitive. Even that is fine, I read the same novel a 100 times, this is no big deal. The difficult part to skirt around is, one is put on the spot sometimes with "opinion" questions like, "what do you think of him/her?". You have to agree with me, that is a precarious position. I always feel like saying, "Does it matter? Are you going to change your decision because of what I say?". But I am the sweet friend, I smile, hum and haw and non-committedly manage to utter general pleasantaries and escape. phew!
I love shopping but its a totally different affair when it comes to shopping with a soon-to-be bride. The doubts and second thoughts are a 1000 times worse. I never know what to do when their "sweetheart" calls them while shopping. I can't stare at her while she is on the phone, that would be rude. I can't move away, she would ask, "why did you just go off? That was rude." or worse, some people extend the phone to me and ask me to talk to my "brother" (sly, I know).
The part that personally affects me the most is, I am so used to being the "official-assistant-of-the-kalyana-ponnu", that I have the almost perfect algorithm to orchestrate a tam-bram wedding, but no, the mamis and mamas are not content with that. They assume that me being in the "right age" gives them the license to refer me as a prospective bride to their numerous relatives/acquaintances. I have exhausted myself, trying to come up with plausible answers to the question - "When are you getting married?"
I don't know about their parents, but I sure am happy that most of my friends are married now. No more weddings in the pipeline for some more time. Thanks for the break folks!
Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Love at first sight
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, which is translation for, I am bored with my job. On one such jobless rambling, my mind revisited the numerous exam halls where I once sat with a tensed mind, many a times. I still remember how I used to rush through spilling out all that I had tried to cram into my head, onto the paper. All the while, my mind used to keep chanting "It'll be over..It'll be over soon" - I know what you are thinking, yes, I was never the one that concentrated on one thing. My hand, meanwhile, used to freeze mid air, if my mind stopped the magic chant, so, I used to let it murmur in the background.
After I finished the ordeal of putting to paper what I had learnt(?), there was this torture of revising answers. I hated it, but you know girls. We always have a love-hate relationship with almost every thing under the sun(even with the sun, apparently - "Oh what a lovely, sunny day!"..."Yuck, I hate sunny days, what a horrible tan!"). I used to quickly glance through all my carefully crafted sentences, which were camouflaged with terms taken off the question, to pass off as answers. I would hopefully look at my watch. The traitor usually threw it in my face that I had about 5 more minutes to spare.
I then had to yield to my conscience's nagging and "check" my answers again. That was where fate played its favourite game. My mind, needless to say, was an ally of fate. What had seemed the only thing that could pass off under the examiner's careful eye, was now portrayed as a bonafide declaration of my stupidity, by my mind. Poor me, I always took the bait. I changed the answer to some seemingly plausible nonsense.
Yes, you guessed it. My first answer was almost always correct. At other times, it would have atleast not invited the comment "Meet me" scrawled across my paper or worse, the teacher taking me aside and talking to me as if I was going through a serious mental crisis.
It is the same with most things in my life. The dress I choose, the dish I order, the bus I take...Second opinions don't seem to work for me. So, if somebody asks me whether I endorse love at first sight, I say, why not? The probability of not going wrong seems to be more :)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Too far, wiki, too far!
Women's day was "celebrated" in my office yesterday. I do not believe in "kondadifying" such specially dedicated "days", but one particular item in the agenda, kindled my interest. It was called "High tea".
Always a big fan of quaint English terminologies, I googled it up. Google told me that Wikipedia knew what the term meant.
Wikipedia said
High tea (also known as meat tea) is an early evening meal, typically eaten between 5pm and 6pm. It is now largely followed by a later lighter evening meal.
High tea would usually consist of cold meats, eggs or fish, cakes and sandwiches.
In its origin, the term “high tea” was used as a way to distinguish it from “low tea” or afternoon tea. The words 'low' and 'high' refer to the tables from which either tea meal was eaten. Low tea was served in a sitting room where low tables (like a coffee table) were placed near sofas or chairs generally. The word high referred to a table, this one in a dining room table, and it would be loaded with substantial dinner dishes - meats, cheese, breads, perhaps the classic shepherd's pie or steak and kidney pie.
P.S: I love it when the literal meaning is the actual meaning, while people try to bring out all sorts of hidden symbology. This tendency must henceforth be called "The Dan Brown Syndrome".
But, Wikipedia, you got it wrong, didn't you? You do not know my HR team's definition of the term. You are not even close. If Ross(F.R.I.E.N.D.S) were around, he would say, "Too far, wiki, too far!"
Why in our event yesterday, most people slipped out clandestinely for tea, when speakers were furiously debating on what was apparently a serious topic.
We paid for our tea, and had to drink it in the corridor or the crowded cafeteria tables - certainly not filled with the mouthwatering(for many) assortment of victuals mentioned in your page.
While sipping our "high tea", me and my friends tried guessing the plausible interpretations of the term. Maybe, the HR people thought that we would slink off to the topmost floor, in an attempt to be as far away from the event as possible - "high" tea. Maybe, they knew we would sigh with relief and exclaim with joy when we finally escaped from the "celebration" and laid our hands on the cup of steaming tea - "Hiiieee Tea!!!"
Always a big fan of quaint English terminologies, I googled it up. Google told me that Wikipedia knew what the term meant.
Wikipedia said
High tea (also known as meat tea) is an early evening meal, typically eaten between 5pm and 6pm. It is now largely followed by a later lighter evening meal.
High tea would usually consist of cold meats, eggs or fish, cakes and sandwiches.
In its origin, the term “high tea” was used as a way to distinguish it from “low tea” or afternoon tea. The words 'low' and 'high' refer to the tables from which either tea meal was eaten. Low tea was served in a sitting room where low tables (like a coffee table) were placed near sofas or chairs generally. The word high referred to a table, this one in a dining room table, and it would be loaded with substantial dinner dishes - meats, cheese, breads, perhaps the classic shepherd's pie or steak and kidney pie.
P.S: I love it when the literal meaning is the actual meaning, while people try to bring out all sorts of hidden symbology. This tendency must henceforth be called "The Dan Brown Syndrome".
But, Wikipedia, you got it wrong, didn't you? You do not know my HR team's definition of the term. You are not even close. If Ross(F.R.I.E.N.D.S) were around, he would say, "Too far, wiki, too far!"
Why in our event yesterday, most people slipped out clandestinely for tea, when speakers were furiously debating on what was apparently a serious topic.
We paid for our tea, and had to drink it in the corridor or the crowded cafeteria tables - certainly not filled with the mouthwatering(for many) assortment of victuals mentioned in your page.
While sipping our "high tea", me and my friends tried guessing the plausible interpretations of the term. Maybe, the HR people thought that we would slink off to the topmost floor, in an attempt to be as far away from the event as possible - "high" tea. Maybe, they knew we would sigh with relief and exclaim with joy when we finally escaped from the "celebration" and laid our hands on the cup of steaming tea - "Hiiieee Tea!!!"
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Who's the Hero?
It is understandable that the yesteryear heroine never recognized her "athan" just because he skipped shaving the stubble on his face, for a bit longer than usual, for a "disguise". It is understandable because, the basic assumption those days was that women were a species unfortunately doomed to possess a vacuous "mel maadi" but, on the bright side, destined for a possible candidature for the next solitary female statue in Chennai beach(albeit requiring them to quickly acquire arsonistic qualities after the demise of their unfaithful husbands).
What amuses me even after so many years of watching Tamil cinema is, why does the so called mean, tricky, treacherous villain never get it? His chief career skill, apart from involving in sleazy activities and roaring out the famous villainous laughter jig is supposed to be his ability to think up almost applaudably intricate plots against the hero. The villain medidates devilments to trouble the hero even when he is with his ladies.
He is almost like Hanuman, with the hero always in his heart, the only difference being, he also wants to shoot an arrow(or in comparatively modern times, a bullet) through the person in his heart. In some movies, the villain is almost like a scorned lover. His eyes turn red, his voice becomes rough and his whole body trembles during a confrontation with the hero. So, is it not right to assume that he would atleast recognise his heartthrob?
Interesting, no? Yet, this is one of the puzzles that are better not delved into(Now, don't ask me what I did all this while - I need something to write about).
We take the personality shifts and the bouts of "selective" amnesia in our politicians(omg, even actors and sportspeople and journalists and....lack of space) with amazing nonchalance. No wonder we pardoned the villain's "chilly" mistake :)
What amuses me even after so many years of watching Tamil cinema is, why does the so called mean, tricky, treacherous villain never get it? His chief career skill, apart from involving in sleazy activities and roaring out the famous villainous laughter jig is supposed to be his ability to think up almost applaudably intricate plots against the hero. The villain medidates devilments to trouble the hero even when he is with his ladies.
He is almost like Hanuman, with the hero always in his heart, the only difference being, he also wants to shoot an arrow(or in comparatively modern times, a bullet) through the person in his heart. In some movies, the villain is almost like a scorned lover. His eyes turn red, his voice becomes rough and his whole body trembles during a confrontation with the hero. So, is it not right to assume that he would atleast recognise his heartthrob?
Interesting, no? Yet, this is one of the puzzles that are better not delved into(Now, don't ask me what I did all this while - I need something to write about).
We take the personality shifts and the bouts of "selective" amnesia in our politicians(omg, even actors and sportspeople and journalists and....lack of space) with amazing nonchalance. No wonder we pardoned the villain's "chilly" mistake :)
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