The Chemistry of Love

One lesson that I have learned in life is that people in love are opportunistic. Not judging them, but I don't like it very much when they use me.

Do I sound mean? Yes? Yes, I am like that :)

The Chemistry of love

I am not going to name names, but just assign alphabets as aliases for real people. Let us do this like a chemistry equation. Just so that it sounds like it makes sense. I used to love chemistry at school (the subject). The one that existed between my fellow students - not much, in cases where they tried to use me.

Assume X and Y are a couple, or hope to be one. The best solution would be for X to ask Y out or vice versa and get on with their lives. But no, that did not happen very often. X and Y looked at each other. They stared at each other. They shot sidelong looks. Y specialized in executing the sweeping glance covering the entire class but lingering a few seconds more on X. Y would start laughing suddenly when we were having a serious conversation about the length of the ribbon on M's plaits that day. But that did not ruffle me because it just meant X crossed her peripheral vision with his hand on his sidekick's shoulder. I noticed all these things, because I was jobless like that.

X would visit the temple near school, because she wanted to see Y playing cricket in the ground nearby. She'd pull me along, because then we were two pious girls talking in the temple and not one girl gaping at a guy. The interesting fact was that I was the one who used to talk, and listen. She was busy checking him out.

We were the last ones to leave tution because then he could saunter over and make fun of ME so that she could laugh. Huh.

We were the only people to have lunch in the classroom so that he could ogle at her from outside.

I could not skip the boring field trip because then people would talk if she walked alone with him.

She cut my call (her call would have woken me up) the minute she saw his second call and expected me to wait by the phone.

And the conversations we had? They were always laced with "You know what that fellow said?" "I told him..." "He is so funny" "I hate him" "These guys n all..." You know how it is. One gets to nod and approve. Always. Even if you were bored. Even if you also wanted a chance to bore other people. (Yes, I got my chance now! I have a blog to bore people.)

What happened to these couples? Some of them got married and that was the last I heard of them. Some of them moved on and got married to other people. It does seem funny to me now. I can imagine how I must have looked when I was treated like a monkey in the game of throw and catch. Very funny.

So you ask me where is the chemistry part? Here:

X and Y's courtship should have been a simple reaction like this:

Unfortunately for me, they chose to make it a reaction that required the presence of a dummy catalyst, like this:

In case you don't know what a catalyst is, "A catalyst is a subtance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction, but which is left unchanged by the reaction."

I am still single. That says it all :)

Rumor has it

Did you hear...?

Rumors are fun. Really. Even when they are about you, sometimes they are fun. Apparently, in this part of the world, there is a rumor (or a rumor that there is a rumor) about me that I have a boyfriend. Nice, no?

I can imagine my close friends pointing and laughing at the very idea. If there is one thing that is an established fact among my friends, it is my absolute ignorance about "dating", "relationship" and things of the mushy kind. My best friend's favorite jibe at me is about how I wouldn't even realize it if a guy were trying to ask me out. So, there could be a measure of truth in the rumor - I might have a boyfriend about whom I myself am not yet aware of. I give it to the rumor-mongers.

And there are other generic rumors. My favorite one at school was, "no class today". I personally tried to start a rumor once - that the teacher slipped on the stairs and fell down, so no class. I had always imagined that scene with the teachers I did not like. My attempt fizzled out. Not even one soul in the class considered buying the lie. 

That was one of the earliest failures in my life. But I did not lose hope. I decided to perform a Root Cause Analysis for the fiasco (budding software engineer). I arrived at these causes:

1. Lack of lying skills - I had to admit, the teacher slipping in a staircase that consisted of 3 tiny steps and being rendered unable to come to class was a bit of a stretch on one's imagination.
2. Unconvincing body language while lying - This problem is caused by problem 1 because body language  efficiency is directly proportional to the "believability" of the lie.
3. Lack of support - Even my close friends did not support me in the effort. They did not have to believe in the rumor, they just had to talk about it.
4. Lack of incentives - I should have garnered support and offered incentives such as guarantee of not including their names in the mischief makers list if I got caught, bondas in my house that evening or something like that.

So what do we infer from the paragraph above? Rumors are instructive. They indirectly encourage self introspection.

And then there are rumors on a slightly larger scale. There was a rumor in our area that a certain ghost was frequenting the railway crossing at night time. I always wondered why ghosts chose night time. Probably because they are typically dressed in white and have a pale white complexion. If you look at it from a "rational" perspective, they are spotted at night due to better visibility conditions at night, with a dark background. Anyways, this rumor was harmless and in fact, had a positive effect, because kids were scared to wander far from the house at night and not many people frequented the railway track for digestive waste disposal.

And....rumor has it that people who type too much will not get dinner tonight. So, I am cutting this post short. 

P.S: It is rumored that those who read this post and do not leave nice comments on FB or Twitter will be tormented with more such posts. Just FYI.

I don't swear

It is now very fashionable to inject swear words into one's vocabulary. And it irritates me. It also seems to be something people think they can flaunt. Not shamefully, but proudly. And then there are those who support such people. I don't know who makes me more indignant.

Decency has lost the appreciation it deserves. Vulgarity and cheapness have pushed it out of the social limelight and are basking in their new-found social acceptance. I partly blame social media for this. People are now proud to display their mediocrity. They beam ear to ear when they talk about how perverted they are. Showing lack of respect to others has now become the "in thing".

Being frank and outspoken is very different from being brazen and rude. And again, it is peer pressure that makes people accept most of the nonsense that is promoted these days. And when people like me do not join the bandwagon, we are criticized. No, we are bullied.

Well, I am not someone who will "go with the flow". I am this way and I dare anyone to try and change me. If you feel it is your freedom of expression to belittle everyone around you, it is my free will to not listen to you.

If you think I am old fashioned, who cares? I do not think much about you, so your opinions don't matter either. One thing is for sure - however low these people stoop down, I will not reach down and call them names. I have a blog to rant about it. Without swearing.