The Balanc(e)ing act

"Can he see me behind the door?"

My heart flutters...or rather...beats frantically against my rib cage, in an attempt to jump off and run away from the danger. I try to shake my brain out of its frenzy of unfathomable fear. No use. My mental(!) faculties are frozen, much like the funds for anything that incurs expense, in my office.

I try to summon up atleast vestiges of the "strong independant woman" in me. Apparently she had made her strategic exit long ago. I suspect this was due to the heavy exposure to 24x7 news channels and their incessant stories about how some corrupt XXX got anticipatory bail.

I try to reinforce the prowess of my extremely theist alter ego. I sqeeze my eyes and "let go". Then I remember the moral of the fable I had read when I was in first standard A section - "God helps those who help themselves". Totally unrelated, but I can't help wondering, why would I need God's help if I can help myself?

The idea(no, not the one Bachchan Junior recommends) dawns on me but I am not in a position to shout "Eureka!". HE might hear me. I can hear HIM pacing to and fro.

I frantically open my bag and fish out my mobile. I scroll down my contact list and find the number. I press down my finger on the green call symbol and listen. I hear a voice. God does exist.

But wait. No. no no no no NOOOO!

"Dear customer, please note that your account balance is low. Kindly recharge to enjoy continued service...blah blah blah"

Me - "?@#$% whaaa?...what? Owww!! ok its over...its over"

Au contraire....

"Anbulla vaadikkaiyaalare...."

Me - "HayoooooOOOO!!!"

I am supremely irritated and do the worst. The worst has happened. I feel as strong as Popeye stuffed with Spinach. I open the gate and let it swing as if I am Rajni in ApoorvaRaagangal.

I am ready. I can face HIM. I don't care. I say, "Come on! It is either you or me. I have braces on my teeth. They can rip you apart, you four legged canine! Caamaan talk me!"

Disclaimer: This post is just for fun. If there is any truth in it, it lies in the part about my apprehension about going near dogs and yes, the automated aunty's voice on the telephone. I respect dogs. I love them in pictures.

Father magan

A guy has "the talk" with his dad, after he finishes his studies. His dad finds out that all his son wants to do is flirting. This is just an imaginary conversation between father and son, with lines picked off from Thevar Magan...just for fun.

Note: Some of Sivaji's dialogues have been used for the son. This conversation is not a direct mapping of the movie dialogues like Sivaji's dialogues --> Father Kamal's dialogues --> son.

Father: ama...idu namma oorku prayosanama irkum la...

Son: namakku prayosanama irkum...

Father: seri...idellam epdi inge pannuve? unaku ida pathi lam theryuma?

Son: illa ayya adu namma oorla panra idea ve illa...Chennai Bangalore Hyderabad...madri edathula...like a chain of restaurants...(he is talking about possible locations)

Father: tamizh tamizh...

Son: Anda ithum baingale...idu..

Father: enna da adu? (So this fellow intends to go off and have fun leaving me in this forlorn village? huh!)

Son: ayya kovathula ededo pesureeyale...

Father: ipdi pesi pesiye dan oru kayya kondutu poitainga...

After a pause

Father: Ingaye irappa...naalu perukku edo nalladu seyyappa nu sonnen...apdye enakum oru vela potu kudu...

guy:(horrified) padhaaraadenga ayya...

Father looks at oor makkal - another bunch of guys like his son.

Father: (Realises that his son is definitely not going to include him in his gallivanting spree and gives up) Ida parunga da...inime ivaru dan ungaluku ellam...ivar solra madriye seyyunga...

Father walks away in a huff, accompanied by baritone voices singing the praise of Father's forefathers, in the background, while his son sighs in relief.